BESTIE, IT’S 2025, FEAR IS THE ONLY THING HOLDING US BACK

Born and raised in a tiny town in the central North Island, I grew up in a valley thinking the world was only as big and as far as I could see.

I fell in love with the written word at an early age, and my competitive instinct made me push further and faster beyond the bounds of what I should have been consuming. I started to read magazines, newspapers and non-fiction, only to expose myself too soon to what was going on behind the hills that sheltered me.

I’d dreamed of being on television, of performing, becoming a model, and it was all snuffed out when crippling anxiety moved in. At seven years old, I developed an auto-immune condition that affected my skin; made me different and forced me to hide.

My life became driven by fear, and now, with my new skin condition, a fear of being seen was top of the list. My entire life was dictated by my illness; changing my hopes and dreams for the future, and shaping every decision I made.

By the time I was a young adult, I had learned how to hide myself; how to keep people at arm’s length, how to let things slide, how to lower my expectations and how to live in a state of constant fear and conflict; afraid I wasn’t ever going to be able to live a fulfilling life, and afraid of being found out as the monster I perceived myself to be.

Into adulthood, I settled in every area. I felt lucky to get the bare minimum, believing it was all I deserved. 

Until one day in my early thirties, when I received the ultimate rejection - the thing I’d been so afraid of for so long. I was being set adrift into a new life as a single mother, and at first, the fear was overwhelming. I felt doomed. All my fears and ugly thoughts came to the surface and I took them as gospel.

I spent years afterwards feeling lost, hopeless and out of control. Until December last year, when I turned 38.

As I stared down the rest of my life, I realised it was an opportunity.

A second chance, to live the life I had always wanted; to let go of the past mistakes and hurt and fear and leap into the unknown with a new curiosity and compassion for myself.

I was getting a do-over. And as scary as it might feel, I was finally ready to live the bolder, bigger life I had always deserved.

I finally knew it was time. I was another year older and nothing had changed. If I wasn’t going to do something now, when would I?

So far this year I’veI’m ready to face down the fear th been making massive efforts to dismantle the fears that have held me back in life, and now, I want to take you with me.

This is The Leap Year. Where I let go of shame, fear, judgement and anxiety and go after what sets my soul on fire. Where I face my truth and challenge myself for the sake of living a better life. For the sake of being the person I was always meant to be. 

If you’re ready to break out of the confines you’ve shackled yourself in and make real change in your life, I will be documenting, measuring and sharing my process and progress, using myself as the guinea pig to inspire and improve your lives too.

Life is too short to live unfulfilled, to be unhappy, to settle - and it’s too important to let fear hold us back from our dreams. We have everything we’ve ever needed, the stage is set.

I’m ready to face the fear, and jump. You coming with me?