The story so far.

Born and raised in a tiny town in the central North Island, I grew up in a valley thinking the world was only as big and far as I could see.

I quickly showed a passion for the written word and my competitive nature saw me race ahead of my class in matters of the English language; only to expose myself too soon to what was going on behind the hills that sheltered me.

The early interest I’d had in performing, in writing, being on television and becoming a model was snuffed out when crippling anxiety moved in. At seven years old, I developed an auto-immune condition that affected my skin; made me different and forced me to hide.

My life became driven by fear, and now, with my new skin condition, a fear of being seen was top of the list.

My entire life was dictated by my condition; changing my hopes and dreams for the future, and shaping every decision I made.

By the time I was a young adult, I had learned how to hide myself; how to keep people at arm’s length, how to let go of my dreams, how to be quiet, how to lower my expectations and how to live in a state of constant fear - fear of not ever being able to live a fulfilling life, and fear of being found out as the monster I perceived myself to be.

I settled in every area. I felt lucky to get the bare minimum, believing it was all I deserved. Until one day, when I received the ultimate rejection, the thing I’d been so afraid of for so long. I was being set adrift into a new life as a single mother, and at first, the fear was overwhelming. I felt doomed. All my fears and ugly thoughts came to the surface and I took them as gospel.

As I stared down the rest of my life, I realised it was an opportunity.

A second chance, to live the life I had always wanted; to let go of the past mistakes and hurt and fear and leap into the unknown with a new curiosity and compassion for myself.

I was getting a do-over. And as scary as it might feel, I was finally ready to live the bolder, bigger life I had always deserved.